Trying to Be the Good Guy

Early on my ride today I spotted an iPhone 5, literally dangling off the side of a bridge about to be pushed into the ocean or trampled by a car. I picked it up, put it in my pocket within a protective plastic bag next to my Xperia and continued riding for 4 hours.

When I got home I looked at the phone, it had a big gash on one corner, obviously left on the top of a car by mistake and catapulted off once it hit a good speed. What does one do with a dead iPhone? My thought was to charge it and send the owner an lovely email.
So that’s what I did.

iPhone owner  from Yarmouth gets a nice message.

iPhone owner from Yarmouth gets a nice message.

No message from the owner but I figure they may contact me once they get around to it.

1.5hours later 2 armed and bulletproofed policeman arrive at my residence wondering if I have an iPhone.

Female Cop: “Do you know why we are here?”
Me: [Opening the door] “No but I’m sure you’ll let me know. Come on in.”

I’m missing the rebroadcast of the Tour de France Stage 1 but we all know what happens with the Orica Green-Edge Bus right?…

Female Cop: “We’ve got a report that an iPhone is missing and the husband is here tracking you with GPS”
Me: “Oh so they saw my 85 mile route? (Nice no? At least 4 lighthouses, Kennebunkport, Biddeford Pool, Scarborough).
Cop: “Yeah, and then it tracked to this address”
Me: “Yup, because it died on my ride and I just plugged it in so I could email the owner (nicely, without guns).
Of course I hand the phone to them and say “but she should check her email, we could have done this more civilized.”
Cop: “Yeah, well I know how much I rely on my phone so I can relate”
Me: “Oh, … I have a pay-as-you-go Android so it’s not life or…” I look at the male cop for backup, he’s no help.
Me: “Ok well have a nice night.

[My sleeping wife yells from upstairs]: “I told you that you should have left it so it got run over!”

Now I have to deal with my wife and the humility of having cops show up to my front door. Lovely.
Still no response from the iPhone owner (she has my #, but I didn’t look at her’s since that’s creepy).

Apple GPS: 1
Bulletproof Cops: 1
Husband tracking the phone with the GPS app: 1
Guy who saved the phone and charged it up: 0

Lesson learned America. Thanks for the tutorial.

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